Q: Picky Parent is such a funny name. How did you come up with it?
Q: Bryan, as a Rhodes Scholar and national expert on school choice and school improvement, you’ve been an advisor to mayors, governors, even the White House on education issues. What do you see as the critical trends in school choice?
Q: You state in the book that in the elementary years, IQ may be increased by as much 20%. Is this really true?
Q: You say it’s an “action manual”? What do you mean by that?
Q: Picky Parent Guide is a big book. If I am a busy working single parent and I don’t have a lot of time to devote to this project, what am I supposed to do?
Q: Are private schools better than public schools? Are charter schools really any good? Does Picky Parent Guidegive guidance about what type of school is best?
Q: Many parents feel intimidated by school principals and teachers, almost like we’re still students ourselves. Is there any way to help parents get over that?
Q: Picky Parent Guide makes a big deal about the distinction between school quality and fit. What do you really mean by that?
Q: What’s the #1 quality problem in schools today?
Q: Don’t many parents just rely on gut instinct, friends, or test scores to pick the best school?
Q: What’s the #1 sign that a school doesn’t “fit” a child?
Q: We can’t really expect schools to “do it all” for all kids, can we? Aren’t you asking a bit much of schools?
Q: Do you offer anything to parents who are stuck with a school, because there aren’t a lot of options in their area or they need to stay with a less-than-perfect school for logistical reasons?
Q: If you could give three simple messages to all parents, what would those messages be?
Q: Picky Parent is such a funny name. How did you come up with it?
A: That’s actually a great question for us, because we personally aren’t “picky” about most things. We’re still unpacking boxes from our move more than a year ago, and our car floor is a holding tank for squashed Cheerios. But the reason we care so much about this issue — and that so many other parents care, too — is that it’s worth getting picky about. Research shows that the school your child attends makes a vast difference in academic and life success. That’s true not just for kids at the bottom, but ones in the middle and at the top, too. Caring parents want to be picky when it counts. This decision counts as much as — or more than — any other single decision a parent will make for a child. We also use “Picky Parent” lightheartedly in Picky Parent Guide because ED-U-CA-TION can seem like such a serious, complicated thing, and we wanted to make it approachable and completely do-able for the typical parent.
Q: Bryan, as a Rhodes Scholar and national expert on school choice and school improvement, you’ve been an advisor to mayors, governors, even the White House on education issues. What do you see as the critical trends in school choice?
A: I would say two trends. ONE: There are more types of schools available all the time. With magnet schools, charter schools, home schooling, the continued presence of private schools, and more and more choice among regular public schools, there’s just been an explosion of options in the past decade. There’s a new federal law that requires school districts to offer parents choices if their children’s schools aren’t measuring up. This has the potential to make the explosion of the past decade feel like a Fourth of July firecracker. TWO: With more choices, there is more choosing going on. About twenty million kids enter a new school every year in this country. Twenty million. One out of four of them opt for a school other than the assigned public school. Even a lot of those who attend their assigned schools have parents who very seriously scrutinize that school before choosing it — partly because of the expanded options. Those trends pose exciting opportunities for parents and their children, but they’ve also sent many parents into a befuddled frenzy. We wrote Picky Parent Guide to explain the choices and help guide parents through this confusing and stressful process in the very best way. Any parent can do this well. There’s no reason for any parent to be left out.
Q: You state in the book that in the elementary years, IQ may be increased by as much 20%. Is this really true?
A: Yes, absolutely it can happen, with proper stimulation and challenge. Children are naturally driven to learn. But research has shown that having the right educational environment can make a huge difference, and not just for kids at the bottom. Kids in the middle and kids already at the top can make huge learning leaps, too. It’s not surprising, really, since children spend more than 1200 hours in school each year. If the time is spent well, your child will learn a lot. If the time’s not spent well, your child won’t. “I.Q.” is just one measure of a child’s capabilities — in this case certain thinking skills. Thinking skills can be taught and learned, just like reading, writing and math. Struggling kids can learn the thinking skills they’ll need to be successful in school and work. Kids who are already ahead can shoot the moon. This is one of the main reasons we wrote Picky Parent Guide, so parents would have an action manual for giving their kids the best chance at developing and using their innate talents.
Q: You say it’s an “action manual”? What do you mean by that?
A: Clear, immediate results are what parents need and want. In the past, parents have had to wait until their children got into school situations that weren’t working and then go through months or years of anguish before getting it right. Meanwhile, years of a child’s life pass by. There’s just no need for that. Parents can take immediate action and get immediate results by switching schools, influencing teachers and even improving whole schools — if they have confidence that they are taking all the right steps. Picky Parent Guide walks parents through all the right steps, one by one. The regret we hear from parents who waited too long to take action is heartbreaking, but the thrill and joy we hear from parents who overcome that intimidation to do the right thing for their children is equally heartwarming.
Q: Picky Parent Guide is a big book. If I am a busy working single parent and I don’t have a lot of time to devote to this project, what am I supposed to do?
A: Picky Parent Guide gets you thinking about the right things and gets you to the right answers much more quickly than you could do it on your own. Knowing what you’re getting will save time and stress later for many parents. Whether you’re a single parent, a working parent, moving to a new town, concerned about your child or you just want to improve your understanding of the institution that dominates your child’s time, we’ve made it easy for you. In Picky Parent Guide you will find a one-page summary for each chapter, action steps for each chapter, and a set of easy-to-use tools. These tools were designed to help you drill in quickly on what we call Must Haves, the things that are relevant and important for your unique child and family. Then you match them up with what the various schools offer. We also highlight the aspects of schools that distinguish the best from the rest, so parents won’t get distracted by what we call the many misleading school quality indicators. We teach you what to look for and how to ask the tough questions. Picky Parent Guide also serves as a topical reference manual if you want to focus on just a few issues important to you or want more on hot topics like family values or admissions strategies. Plus, we try to help parents laugh a little along the way (why not?).
Q: Are private schools better than public schools? Are charter schools really any good? Does Picky Parent Guide give guidance about what type of school is best?
A: The short answer is this: you can’t predict how good a school will be for a child just by knowing if it is public, private, charter, magnet and so on. The very best, unbiased research has made that clear. A lot of parents want to know if we have a bias toward one school type or design, but we really don’t. We admit to having an agenda, though: we want all schools to be great, and we want to see more variety and clarity about what individual schools offer to children and families. In Picky Parent Guide you will read a number of very touching stories about kids and parents who are able to dramatically improve their schooling situations with locally available options. The solutions are often surprising to parents who have preconceived notions about one school type or another. The keys are that the school should be a good fit for the child and a good fit for the family, and it should demonstrate certain traits that research has shown are common to the best schools. We don’t dictate our values to parents, but we do ask parents to take an honest look at their own values and get smart about the best school quality research.
Q: Many parents feel intimidated by school principals and teachers, almost like we’re still students ourselves. Is there any way to help parents get over that?
A: Oh yes. It’s true many parents feel very deferential to teacher and principal authority. And it’s good to be polite and respectful, of course. But we included the phrase “with confidence” in our book title for a reason. When it comes down to it, most parents are really smart and perceptive about their own children’s needs. They have a great grasp of their own families’ values, too. But sometimes they need help answering the question “what does it mean for choosing and working with a school?” And they need a shot of confidence to take action sooner rather than later.Picky Parent Guide helps parents become exceptionally well-informed and exceptionally good at the process of choosing schools and working with them. To us, a “confident choice” is not just about feeling good, it’s about making the best choices for school and home and getting results.
Q: Picky Parent Guide makes a big deal about the distinction between school quality and fit. What do you really mean by that?
A: Picky Parent Guide makes this distinction clear and actionable. School “quality” is a measure of how much students learn in core academic subjects. In some schools, children simply learn a lot more than similar children attending other schools. Decades of research show a few, stark similarities among these schools where children of all kinds learn the most in core academics, and Picky Parent Guide teaches parents to recognize these characteristics. In contrast, “fit” is about how well a particular school meets the unique combination of needs and values of an individual child and that child’s family. For instance, the level of difficulty your child is taught compared to what your child already knows. Or how well teachers tap into your child’s interests to teach basic subjects. Or, your child may have non-academic strengths, such as leadership or musical talent. On the family side, you may want to reinforce religious or moral values during the long school day. Parents feel like they are asking for “special favors” to get their individual children’s learning needs met at school. Interestingly, the quality research shows that one hallmark of an excellent school is that the whole school is organized to recognize and meet individual children’s learning needs. In a Great School, “special favors” are routine, because every child is assumed to be unique and special. Great schools simply fit more children’s learning needs, and that’s one reason why children learn more in these schools.
Q: What’s the #1 quality problem in schools today?
A: The #1 quality problem is not ensuring that each individual child learns as much in core academic subjects as that child can. This usually happens for one of two main reasons. Either a school takes a one-size-fits-all approach to teaching, and some kids get left out. Or, the school expects too little of some children — kids at the top aren’t expected to excel further, the school makes excuses for kids at the bottom, or the grade level standards are just too low all around. Here’s what that looks like from the parent and child point of view: (1) Your child is pretty typical academically, but you have to get tutoring for your child outside of school to make grade level. (2) Your child struggles academically, but gets the same instruction as other kids at school — or only token changes like a once-a-week pullout. (3) Your child is advanced academically but gets taught the same material as other students at school — or again has only a token once-a-week pull out class. Any one of those three is a huge red flag marking mediocre and weak schools. Picky Parent Guide helps parents identify these problems and take action on behalf of their children.
Q: Don’t many parents just rely on gut instinct, friends, or test scores to pick the best school?
A: Instincts are sometimes on the mark. But other times they’re based on the at-a-glance view, which isn’t at all what your child will experience in a school. We’re constantly astonished by the schools that are “popular” but don’t even come close to meeting the core academic needs of many students — parents think it’s just their own child’s issue, but really the school is letting down many students. Similarly, schools with really diverse or challenged populations often don’t look tops in overall tests scores, but when you look at it group-by-group you realize that the school is pushing every child to amazing learning levels compared to other schools. But parents don’t need to get tangled up in confusing test scores. The Great School Quality Checklist in Picky Parent Guide helps parents avoid schools with the common quality pitfalls, or at least understand a school’s weaknesses so that they can make up for them outside of school or push for changes.
Q: What’s the #1 sign that a school doesn’t “fit” a child?
A: This is harder to put into one category, because children’s needs vary so much, and the roles that families are able to play in a child’s development vary so much. But basically, if you do not see tremendous improvement in your child’s academic, social, emotional, physical, or behavioral development every single year in the elementary grades, then either school or family life needs to change. Parents will see lots of telltale signs, too: your child just doesn’t like school, your child’s teachers don’t seem to understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses, your child is bored at school, and so on. For example, if you know your child is bright, but she’s lagging in academic performance, you should ask yourself, “why?” A Great School will ask that question for you. But in many schools, it’s up to you. The answer might be that your child is not very motivated to achieve unless she gets personal attention from a grownup who cares. Or the issue might be an undetected disability that starts to show itself when schoolwork gets more academic. Or your highly visual child might be overwhelmed and distracted by a messy classroom where kids are moving all over the place. Whatever the underlying cause of your child’s less-than-expected performance, you can figure it out or get help. And then you can ensure that the school environment is a match. The Fit tools and tables inPicky Parent Guide walk you through a step-by-step assessment of your child and family needs, so you’ll know exactly what’s needed at school (and home).
Q: We can’t really expect schools to “do it all” for all kids, can we? Aren’t you asking a bit much of schools?
A: We’re not. We believe — and we think most parents agree — that it is not too much to ask schools to help every child achieve and make significant progress academically every year. Nobody disagrees that that’s the core job of schools. What we’re saying, though, is that far too many schools are falling short with no good reason. The research is very clear about what schools need to do to be great academically. That knowledge in the hands of parents is a potent weapon against mediocrity. On the fit side, it’s true that no school will meet the needs of every child and family. That’s why schools need to be clear about what they offer. That’s also why understanding your needs and values and what you can offer your child outside of school is critical to choosing the right school. Most parents understand that, but knowing just what to look for in a school can be befuddling. The fit tools and tables in Picky Parent Guide clear up the matter and make it really straightforward for parents so they know exactly what they’re getting — and not getting — when they choose a school. We even take it the next step and offer a menu of ideas for developing your child outside of school. That crystal clarity takes the stress out of it for parents so they can stop losing sleep over it. A lot of parents are “wandering in the wilderness” when it comes to school choices. We hopePicky Parent Guide will be the breath of fresh air that picks them up and helps get them on the path to the right choice.
Q: Do you offer anything to parents who are stuck with a school, because there aren’t a lot of options in their area or they need to stay with a less-than-perfect school for logistical reasons?
A: By all means. Understanding your child’s school’s strengths and weaknesses — whether they are related to quality or fit — is a huge step forward for many parents. You can dramatically improve your child’s school performance and life even if you don’t switch schools. Picky Parent Guide walks even the most timid parents through the stomach-churning process of helping a teacher understand a child’s needs and better meet them. Sometimes, making a change at home or in non-school activities does the trick, and we give really specific advice about this for common child and family needs. If the situation is not great for your child, chances are that lots of other kids in the same school are in the same boat. On our website, PickyParent.com, we offer action guides for parents who want to work together to improve their children’s school experiences and even work with school staff to make big changes in their schools.
Q: If you could give three simple messages to all parents, what would those messages be?
A: First, we would say this: finding a Great School that fits can make an extraordinary difference in your child’s school performance and life success, not to mention your family’s happiness. Second: parents, you really are so smart. You know when your child is not learning all that he or she can in school, even preschool. Whether the material is not challenging enough or the teachers are not ensuring that your child locks onto learning by meeting individual children’s learning needs, you should expect more. Trust yourselves and take action. Third: you can get smarter about what to seek in a school. Every parent can learn what a school should offer to meet each child’s and family’s needs, not just in core academics but in every aspect of learning that’s important to you. Take it step by step, learn what matters most, and focus on that. That’s what Picky Parent Guide helps you do.